


Not So Sneaky, After All

by Simon_snows_pitch



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24684166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simon_snows_pitch/pseuds/Simon_snows_pitch
Summary: Agatha goes searching for a toilet and stumbles upon Baz and Simon in full-on lip-lock.
Relationships: Snowbaz - Relationship, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 6
Kudos: 152
Collections: Agatha Wellbelove fics





	Not So Sneaky, After All

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a request I received on tumblr, asking for a one-shot.

~Agatha’s Perspective~

Baz’s house gives me the creeps. I know a lot of the old magick families have huge manors like this that have been passed down through the ages (even mine has its own bit of history). But the Grimms certainly live up to their name with all the depressing, gothic décor. Would it kill them to add a few more windows? Maybe paint the walls a nice, light colour?

I’ve been looking for the loo for the last five minutes, trying every door that isn’t locked. Baz and Simon disappeared ages ago to search out the maid and find some food. Simon, the bottomless pit. At least it’s not my responsibility to go traipsing off with him for food every five minutes anymore. I don’t miss that.

I round another dark corner into yet another sad hallway. I know these people must have a loo _somewhere_. What, 20 bedrooms and they all relieve themselves outside? I discover a broom closet, an empty room, a small library, and another closet.

I’m running out of hope when I open a door and—at last! A proper toilet! But there’s one problem: it’s not empty. Crowded into a corner are Baz and Simon, locked together. Baz is looking quite vulnerable, as Simon is holding his arms hostage against the wall. Apparently my arrival has gone unnoticed. Should I leave? Would that be worse, if they heard me go?

Baz opens his eyes to gaze at Simon—no one has ever looked at _me_ like that—but then looks past him to where I’m standing. Morgana! Baz shoves Simon away rather unceremoniously, and my ex (my gay ex?) whips around. Simon’s hair is disheveled, and colour rises all the way up to his ears. I think I even detect a faint blush in Baz’s typically grey face. They’re both a sight.

“We—we, uh, we were just—” Simon can’t seem to get the words out. He’s looking everywhere but my face, like he thinks a solid excuse will jump out of the nearest cabinet and smack him. Baz might take care of the smacking himself. Or he usually would, but he’s surprisingly still and stony-faced despite Simon’s blundering.

“What do you want, Agatha?” Baz asks, doing his best to look down his nose at me. He folds his arms.

“Agatha, I—I mean, you know, I know we—but, you and I, well we aren’t, you know—” Simon looks for all the world like he’s going to stutter and sputter until he’s blue in the face. He’s looking helplessly at Baz now. I’m tempted to put him out of his misery, but it’s a nice change, seeing him nervous around me.

I give in to my better side. “Yes, Simon, I can see that you’re snogging. You’re also hogging the only toilet I’ve been able to find in this godforsaken house. No offence, Baz,” I add. Baz shrugs.

“We were not snogging!” Simon says. I’m sure my face is a good reflection of Baz’s incredulity. Simon withers under our mutual gaze. “Okay . . . we were. You’re not . . . I don’t know, mad? Or surprised?”

“Surprised?” I say with a chuckle. “You two are about as inconspicuous as numpties striding through a Tesco’s. Honestly, Simon, I’m just glad you finally found someone you can’t keep your hands off of.”

Simon sighs and laughs. “Oh! Well, that’s a relief then. I suppose.”

“Speaking of relief . . .” I give them both a meaningful look.

“Oh yeah!”

“Crowley, I’m sorry, Agatha!” Baz jumps away from the wall and strides past me, dragging Simon along behind him. I don’t miss the small smile of gratitude playing across his lips.


End file.
